Scared of Taking a Gap Year? So was I.
The story of how I came to this life-changing decision
Freshman year of college I had a plan: take my general education classes, apply and get into the business school, graduate with a degree in business, possibly go to business school again, then create a business (I was not sure in what). The second I got to UNC Chapel Hill I knew this plan would not work out. Kenan Flagler School of Business was extremely difficult to get into, which is what primarily deterred me from applying. Today I like to say that I dropped my pre-business major because I discovered that I don’t like the corporate life, business isn’t my passion, and I have more things to offer the world. I did not think any of this at the time. I truthfully just did not believe I could get into the business school. I had spent all of high school studying business, accounting, and marketing. Yet when the time came to put it to good use, I didn’t. I quit that path. Now this all probably sounds like a dismal way to begin a story. But this personal failure turned out to be my first adult risk-taking decision. And the best one. It completely changed my course and my life.
Long story short, I took a handful of introductory courses in various subjects to find my next major. I stumbled upon Human Development and Family Studies in the School of Education and Psychology in the College of Arts and Sciences. Those became my two majors. I also added on Anthropology as a minor later in my junior year. Through my HDFS courses, I realized I had a passion for education and I desperately wanted to help change the inequities I was seeing and hearing about. As a woman of color myself, I knew the struggles and I knew it was difficult to escape the statistics you’re surrounded by. But I succeeded and I wanted to help others do the same.
Specifically, I was interested in mental health counseling. Then social work. Then clinical psychology. Then school psychology. Then developmental psychology. Then educational psychology. Then education policy. All of these thoughts occurred over less than two years. Do you see the indecisiveness?
Despite this, I had created the broader vision for my career: to help systemically change education for the benefit of minority students. However, I just could not seem to grasp onto a method for doing that. It seemed like each option was lacking something. And each option had a benefit that the others did not. I believed my business years had taken up my time and thoughts. I was planning a corporate career when I should have been thinking about what I want to do within the field of education. I remained in this indecisive state for a long time, until my first semester of senior year. This is where the next big decision comes.
You may be thinking, which graduate program did she choose? But based on the title you hopefully saw before reading my story, you know I don’t go to graduate school. Instead, I decide I need more time to figure everything out. The thought of taking out loans for something I was so unsure about was daunting. So was thinking about not finding a job I am interested in after graduating.
I realized that to know where to go to graduate school, I need more hands on experience with education and with students. This way, I know what area of education I want to help change and how students can benefit from new professionals like me. So, it was decided. I would take a gap year.
If you’re thinking to yourself, she is making a terrible decision, you’re not the only one. I bounced back and forth between taking a risk with graduate school and taking a risk by not going. As a person of lower income, education was my way out. To my parents, graduate school was the key and doing it immediately was the best way. They both have associates degrees and I understand their point of view. But I also told them my perspective. Wasting a degree is just like not receiving one. I needed to take some time and find my own path.
Of course I also made smaller decisions. Which gap year program? What do I want to learn or experience during the year? What age group do I want to work with? Do I teach or do I volunteer? To me, those were smaller hurdles. And they were fun hurdles. Thinking about my gap year was making excited. Graduate school made me feel somber and obligated to the inner-me saying if you don’t go you’re a failure.
Now that I have applied to a one year service program, I feel confident and excited about my future. And if I am not accepted into this program, I have three more lined up. This is what I want to do, this is what I am going to do, and I will make it work. The benefits certainly outweigh the costs, and my future is bright.
As you can see, making decisions is undeniably difficult and often risky. It may take time and you may or may not like the outcome. However, creating a vision for yourself, whether it is with school, work, hobbies, or travel, is a good start. The middle of the journey will be a rocky road, but it will be worth it if you just trust yourself.
